While I am often tempted to think about life as if it is a journey, like the water running through the land that I wrote in the last chapter, I have become aware of a tendency to consider myself as not having arrived, and that there is a destination that recedes from me, even as I approach. In some ways, this is biblical, and there are good reasons to see myself as unfinished. My pride will always be kept in check when I remember how perfect Jesus is, and how constantly I fall short in my thoughts, and fail to appreciate God, and how quick I am to lean on my own understanding.
A new understanding is breaking into my heart. It is the awareness of God in me.
Eph. 3:20. “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us…”
We are constantly flawed in thought and weak in action, but He is constantly perfect and powerful. Our love is inconstant, and limited by our short-sightedness and our selfishness, but His love is never ending, never failing. His sight is infinite, in its simultaneous and complete grasp of the present, past, and future.
Though I’m always looking forward to something, and thinking how I’m not where I want to be with respect to what I know of God, and I tend to measure my “progress” by looking at externals, I’m beginning to appreciate the unlimited “value added” that God brings to every moment, and to see that God’s friendship and power is not limited to the size of our abilities, nor the extents of our intelligence.
We have been given the Holy Spirit!!! What more do we need in order to express God’s purpose and power to a world that reels in its desperate need of Him? He more than completes the finite “us”—He applies His eternal and infinite power and wisdom to our moments. He not only supplies what we lack, but through an incalculable spiritual multiplication, He accomplishes eternal kingdom work through us that no man or woman could have built, nor can any man or woman tear down.
What God builds is beyond comprehension, and even with a resurrected body and purified eyes, we will not see the beginning nor the end of God in us. He will increase our ability to see His work, but without unlimited sight, we will not completely grasp it. Joy and delight is available in the discerning of His presence, love, and power, and it is meant for NOW! The fellowship and communion that God seeks with us is always NOW. The sweetness that the Holy Spirit can speak into any moment is always NOW. The unlimited power of God is being dispensed NOW, at this moment.
He does not wait for us, but quickens our spirits to accomplish His purposes in each one of us. “After this, the word of the LORD came to Abram in a vision: “Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward.” Genesis 15:1, NIV. God refers to Himself in present tense. His name is “I AM.” And He tells Abram that He IS Abram’s shield, presently, and He IS Abram’s very great reward.
So, while we are tempted to think that we are becoming more equipped over time to accomplish God’s work, and we assume that we will be ready on some future day to do this or that thing as we journey onward, the reality is that GOD Himself inhabits our moments with us–(“Emmanuel,” God WITH us!)—and that His power makes every moment a DESTINATION and a complete miracle! He is our shield, even NOW!
God’s presence and power is available to every believer, no matter how young or new, and He is not limited by our imperfection. If He were, we would never see the hand of God moving in anyone, since we are all hopelessly broken. We will never perfect ourselves, or arrive, in our own strength.
God’s “value added” packs treasure into “jars of clay,” and turns the mundane into the sublime. 2 Cor. 4:7, “But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.” ESV.
I used to think that the best treasures were visible—something physical, that you could reach out and call your own. Within the band of my wedding ring, I had the jeweler inscribe a Bible verse reference, “Psalm 37:4-6,” before I even knew the depth of meaning these verses contain:
“Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. ”
I used to think about this verse, and what the Lord would do for me. If I follow Him, I reasoned, He would give me the things that I want most. He would give me a beautiful wife whom I love, a job that I thoroughly enjoy, wonderful children, good health, a comfortable house, a safe and comfortable car, and other stuff, as it comes to mind. Of course, I believed that I was already getting the first one, and that was why the verse was put into my wedding ring. The inscription was to be a reminder to me that God was providing the desires of my heart, starting with my prayers for a lovely wife.
In looking back, however, I see that my thinking on this verse, and about God, was completely errant. I thought that the desires of my heart were other things or conditions. I didn’t know then the new heart that God had given to me, with a capacity to appreciate and know Him more deeply—with a design to grow in love for Him above all else.
Ezekiel 36:26, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.”
I have realized that the deepest desires of this new heart are set upon HIM, and that if I aim this new heart at other things, the heart will lose out, in comparison. He did not gift me this new heart so that I can run with it away from Him—that would be stealing the heart that is His. He gave it to me so that I will run to Him with this heart, and constantly return to Him what is actually His alone.
My God, I have squandered years of my life setting my heart on other things, casting but a glance over my shoulder toward You, the Beautiful ONE… When I feel the emptiness of my pursuits, then I set my heart to honor you, and then you fill my vision!
God gave me a realization that my love for Him was shallow, and that the heart He gave me was malnourished and weak through my neglect of Him. I wanted to have a heart that loved Him unreservedly, but I knew that I was far from possessing it. I began to pray consistently, a few years ago, that God would show me what it means to love Him with all my heart and soul, mind and strength.
I don’t presume that I can attain a heart that is unreservedly, unflinchingly whole in my complete and constant surrender and devotion to Him (this side of Heaven), but I do see that God is inclining my heart toward Him, (sometimes precipitously), and drawing me to Himself with cords of loving kindness. My motivations and hunger for fellowship with Him are deeper when I invite the activity of the Holy Spirit. When I delight in His presence and friendship, I realize that I already have Him, and that I am complete in Him, no matter what may happen to me, or whether I get anything else on my wish list, or if something else I treasure gets taken away. Jesus said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5 NIV.
God points out that David had a heart after Him. As I mention elsewhere in this blog, the life and heart of King David is fascinating to me because of its contrasts. I feel the contrasts within myself and my own heart. There is a strong desire for God in my best moments, but there is also a strong drive for other things, and a temptation to fan the flames of those other desires, to build passions for them. The struggle between conflicting desires is reassuring, actually, because it shows that my heart is deepening in understanding my God and my self. If my awareness of the struggle were small, it might be an indication that I have become spiritually dull, or proud. In my ignorance and sin, I can be lulled into a state of complacency or laziness, so that I do not recognize the Lord calling me. In my pride and sin, I can become drunk with the satisfaction of my own “spiritual” work or progress, and begin to lose the desperation for Him that is the foundation of the abundant life He offers me.
I think one of the most important verses in the Bible about the heart is Malachi 2:2, “’If you do not listen, and if you do not set your heart to honor my name,’ says the LORD Almighty, ‘I will send a curse upon you, and I will curse your blessings. Yes, I have already cursed them, because you have not set your heart to honor me.’”
It sounds harsh, that the Lord will send a curse upon us if we do not set our hearts to honor Him. Actually, the power of the curse is found within the precondition of not honoring the LORD. Put another way, not honoring the Lord, or delighting in Him, (to use the language of Psalm 37), IS ITS OWN CURSE. This is a circular curse. Absence of honoring and appreciating the Lord is a failure to enjoy the greatest blessing available to mankind: the fellowship and goodness of the Living God. We curse ourselves, because we fail to accept His blessing.
In the same way, the blessing in Psalm 37:4 is a circular blessing. Delighting in the Lord is the highest, and best, and truest desire of the new heart He gives!!! When you truly delight in the Lord, you will ALREADY have the desires of your new heart, and realize they are for HIM.
When this is fully realized—well, you’ll be dead and face-to-face with Jesus Our Righteousness and Our Beloved when you FULLY realize this—but when you begin to more fully realize this on earth, your capacity to appreciate everything else is increased. You realize that you don’t deserve anything, and that the next moment of life and the next breath and the next heartbeat is a blessing, and anything else is gravy. You also begin to realize that pain and suffering is your opportunity and can be a great blessing if it drives you to HIM. If, in desperation, you throw yourself on Him—then you will truly live!
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:6-7.
Knowing Him and delighting in Him—relying on Him, I have begun to see that it is true what Jesus said: “my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” See Matthew 11:27-30. I want to spend time with Him, I want to know Him better and better, I want to do His bidding, I want to tell others how great HE is! I want to embrace suffering, and my own weakness, because to follow Him is to be weak on one hand, and to know His glory and power on the other! THIS is GOOD NEWS!!!
Our greatest treasure is God Himself. We should stop looking around for other treasures to pack into our jars of clay. There is no greater treasure to be filled with, than God Himself.
God, give us eyes to see who You really are, and what you are doing, and hearts to praise your handiwork in the seemingly empty spaces of our days. Enliven your people to look for your saving hand at all times, to look up, because You are working out Your redemption of our moments constantly, and You will not fail to wring eternal glory from every cranny of creation and moment of existence…
I am writing this chapter in a broken plastic lawn chair on a laptop computer in my back yard. I have been painfully bitten five or six times on the leg by one fly or another, (and AGAIN just NOW), but… I have seen the Lord! Not with my own eyes, but with the eyes of my heart, and not because I am special, but because I have looked for Him and found Him. He has shown me where He is. Today He was out back, with me and the flies. He was in this common place, and He is in every common place everywhere. Is there really any such thing as a common place or common moment?
Open your eyes and see that YOU are on holy ground! It is underfoot, wherever you may find yourself. Understand that you have a priceless treasure in you, if you have received Christ, and that the Holy Spirit has packed your jar. You are full, and rich, even if you have thought of yourself as poor. We were created to know Him.
Acts 17:27-28. “God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’” NIV 1984.
Know the LORD. He is not mere “value added.” He is your life. Delight in Him, and you will understand what real living is meant to be. You will know the true desires of your heart, and you will know that your heart, and your jar, has been filled.